IT US!!!

Interview with Armin, Charlie and Elliot #1

interviewer: Sasha Potatova

1. Your worst memory related to music industry?
Armin: I think it was when one of the oldest house masters of the 90s, Joseph de Vill, put two pieces of bread on my ears and said "an idiot sandwich". Of course every experience is very precious and teaches us how to deal in tough situations, but...
SP: Are you serious about that?
Armin: Of course.
SP: But you were also getting death threats from that anonymous dude who...
Armin: Oh, that was actually my brother, fifteen years old.
SP: Really? Interesting family dynamics. Well, anyway, what about you, Freckles?
Charlie: I could make this answer... very long... but I think I'd rather keep it to myself.
SP: Is this related in some way to a producer named Axel F.?
Charlie: No comment.
Elliot: idk maybe that moment when I had to pay 20k of fine for throwing thousands of psilocybin fungi friends from the stage at people on PregnantSunFestival '99 (but everyone was delighted as fuck srsly I gained 3453945 fans because of that)
Charlie: Don't do that again.
Elliot: You should try throwing the psilocybin friends with me instead of complaining, you half-bitten yeast roll, you'd also gain 5232356 fans2. Your first song's title?
Armin: But like, first song ever or actually a released track?
SP: I don't know, it wasn't me who prepared these damn questions. Let's say the first ones ever.
Armin: Okay, so if I'm not wrong, when I was 8 I composed a little song named Snowflake, then that one where I used samples of Sharon's dog's woof woof, so it probably was just Woof Woof, then I got inspired by Stian Mackerelson's amazing BathroomHysteria album and...
SP: The question isn't about your whole discography. I was already warned that you have tendencies to talk unnecesary details just to show your quirkyness. Okay, Charlie, you seem way less delusional than your black haired acquaintance, what about you?
Charlie: I remixed an opening song of the show for kids called Happy Priest Pedro...
SP: Seriously? Happy Priest Pedro? And they released such a shit?
Charlie: B-but we... we're talking about our first amateurish songs we made as children, aren't we...?
Armin: Why are you so mean to him, Sasha? >:(
SP: Shut up. Elliot?
Elliot: Uhm I don't remember it was a remix of christmas carol I guess? but right after that it was some shit with such awfully heavy bass I've called SP0NG3 because well sponge was the first gift my girlfriend Claudia gave to me (I still have this sponge can you imagine how many germs live on it omg do you want to wash your legs with it?), yes it was definitely this very cool track you totally should listen Sasha, btw I remastered this song in last year and the bass is even heavier, I've told Claudia that it's now as heavy as her ass and she broke up with me--
SP: Jesus Christ, turn this shit down. I'm a fan of heavy metal, respect that. Don't hurt my ears like this, I'm just doing my job.3. How many albums have you produced?
Armin: Two, slowly working on third one! Wanna take a look at my...
SP: No no no, let's keep it short. You should know I am not your fan, I'm just a journalist.
Armin: Oh. >:c
Charlie: I... uhm... I've never produced a full album yet... I've made plenty of tracks that have been released, enough for a whole big album, that's true, but I'm not convinced yet.. for Personal reasons...
SP: I suspect what those reasons might be.
Elliot: lol 5 haha you n00bies I am speed
SP: You put the least of passion and heart in your tracks, no wonder why you're speed.4. The worst comment you've got under your track?
Armin: I've printed some of my favorite ones and turned them into pins. Look at this "This tune is so cheesy I could make a sandwich with it" by user darksoulofhell12. Or this: "sounds like someone put a meowing cat inside a washing machine" by user sausage2000. But the most moving one is this. I have tears in my eyes when I look at this. User violastar20: "this is horrible who even listens to this shit my ears started to bleed so badly". I replied to her and suggested her that she should probably visit the doctor because ear bleeding is not normal, not in the slighest, and it might be not because of my beautiful track at all. Viola Star answered to me some days later saying she just had her MRI done and they diagnosed her with brain cancer. I was so sorry for her, we started to talk and became sort of friends even though she genuinely hated my music. And then she passed away four months later. I dedicated my track E∆R_LY@themourning to her...
SP: No way. You've just made that up.
Armin: I wouldn't joke of something so serious, Sasha.
Charlie: I can confirm that, I also sent condolences to Viola Star's family. Her real name was actually Jane O'Yster and she was 65...
SP: Okay, let's back to the topic. Charlie, we've heard that your career had started actually because of how much hate you've got under one of your first songs when you were 14... do you remember any of these comments that have hurted you so badly then?
Charlie: I refuse to talk about that. I was oversensitive as a teenager.
SP: You aren't anymore?
Charlie: No.
SP: Then why you won't tell us more about these hateful comments?
Elliot: They weren't even that bad, they kept writing to him something like "what a cheesy shit lololol", "my younger sister can play a better tune on her childish xylophone than this ninny", yeah I remember I was writing that whe--
Charlie: Excuse me W H A T ?
Elliot: What what?
Charlie: Y O U WROTE THAT COMMENT?!
Armin: Boys, STOOOOOP! DO NOT FIGHT!!! PEACE AND LOVE!!!!5. Most memorable gift from a fan?
Armin: I've got a lot of them, I always truly appreciate them even if I'm not keeping all of them, but... most memorable? Uh, a while ago someone throw me a little pack with... water and...alive betta fish inside it... I have no idea why that person might've thought it's a great idea to bring a real fish to a festival... poor little thing, I was devastated, I took it immediately and put it to a fish tank... I named this little guy Matthew... he's so beautiful... shiny... colorful.. does blub blub... do you want to see the photos...
SP: No.
Armin: Also another gift that made me emotional was... a real heart plushie... you know, anatomically correct heart... bought in a store with halloween accessories or something... I was wondering if that person could've... no, nevermind...
SP: Why did the heart plushie make you so emotional actually? It's more gross than... moving at all.
Charlie: I think it might be because his own heart is a little bit--
Armin: Shut up. You better tell us about your memorable gift from a fan.
Charlie: I... I think it was this... very very long worm plushie.. it had like... two meters.. I was thinking about it days and nights... what does it mean... do my fans like me... or rather not... does it symbolize that I'm like... nice... long lasting... flexible or what...
Elliot: No, that means you're a soft loser with no moral backbone >:DDDD
Charlie: starts to sob
Elliot: Hey I was just joking :) You're tough guy! I once got 30 bottles of ketchup and 20 bottles of tabasco sauce from a fan who was working in tomato sauce company >:)))
SP: What did you do with that?
Elliot: a pool party
SP: What?
Elliot: I poured everything to an inflatable pool and throw a pool party for friends 'n family, duh6. What's your opinion about Ilan von Bunny?
Armin: I think he's awesome and I'm glad he still has patience for me (• ▽ •;)
SP: Why wouldn't he...? What's the problem with you, Armin?
Armin: N-nooone at all!
Elliot: He once vomited on Ilan's beautiful blue furniture in the studio for example
SP: Really? ___
Charlie: Stop tormenting Armin! He did nothing wrong! Well, personally I think Ilan von Bunny is a really great master and I'm thankful that he agreed for getting us to Stellar Recordings, not only Armin as he had planned...
SP: So Ilan keeps favorizing Armin despite he pukes on his furniture? Interesting.
Armin: dies from embarassment
Elliot: Yep I think Ilan favorizes him and claims to be only his true manager but he has his reasons, I'm glad he doesn't care about me as much as he does about our beloved little cyan blue snot from nose because in such case I probably wouldn't be able to uhh-- develop my Businesses, anyway it's not really a big deal that Armin puked on his favorite armchair, Ilan is so fat that he barely is able to sit there loool
SP: No wonder why he cares about you the least.7. Any artist you don't like?
Armin: No <3 I think we all should love and support each other <3 Spread the peace and love on your bread <3 Oh btw I think Axel F. should burn in hell and I hope I'll ruin his whole career soon :3
SP: You're more sassy than I expected you to be.
Charlie: He's not sassy... he's just... such loyal friend...
SP: All of you guys hate Axel F.?
Elliot: Yeah I hate him too, I've once met him on NostrilParty and this fuckass drew a richard dickinson on my motorcycle
SP: Drew what?
Elliot: Genitalia? peepee? sausage? magic wand? you know what's this, Sasha?
Charlie: Seriously you hate Axel only because he drew a penis on your Macarena...? Not because of that he's a mean jerk who sends me hate messages every fucking day...?
Elliot: That sounds like you problem >:)))
Charlie: Elliot...
Elliot: I'm joking! Of course that's Very Threatening! But still, I also have my own personal reason to hate Axel F., you damn soaked casserole, not only you!8. Would you perform in pajamas?
Armin: Yes, why not, but only if it was planned before! Like a themed event where everyone wears pajamas. I'd be up for that. I have such a stunning pajama with pufferfish and...
SP: Okay, no need to tell your fans the details about your pants or whatever. Charlie?
Charlie: I... I actually did once... I forgot to change it... It was too late... everyone was... laughing...
SP: Oh my gosh, that's seriously embarassing.
Elliot: Aye I've once performed in pajama pants and wedding suit from 19th century, this is how you make people talking about you, this is how you become famous bitches yolo9. How would you feel about playing for two fans?
Armin: I'd be fine I guess, I'd talk to them and make friends with them!
SP: What if they wouldn't like to befriend you? You have specific personality. Specific way of being.
Armin: Why would they come then?
SP: So you think that people come to your performances because they want to befriend you? Why aren't you accepting their friend requests on Facebuuk then?
Armin: Because .. (• ▽ •;)
SP: Hypocrite.
Armin: But how do you know I don't accept Facebuuk friend requests from random fans? Hey, Sasha, have you probably tried sending me one???
SP: ... No comment.
Charlie: I would never play for just two fans, that'd feel so awkward... the feeling that only two people came to see me... only two people thought I'm worth something...
Armin: Maybe those would be two people you mean the world to?
Charlie: Still..... awkward...
Armin: You really think so...?
Elliot: Guys I'd have solution for that, if you have an audience of two people only, you just take this pill and suddenly BOOM there's like. 1000+ people seriously it works believe me10. Can you sing?
Armin: Nnno. A little bit? I'm not confident enough.
Charlie: That's not true, I think Armin has beautiful voice.
SP: Can you focus on yourself, not on Armin?
Charlie: O-of course. No, I cannot sing. I'm even more embarassed than him.
Elliot: Well, at least I think I can sing beautiful arias, why won't you approve me too, Chorli? That's soo unfair. Let me sing you some amazing tune letsss say SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME--
SP: Shut up! My ears are bleeding!
Armin: Perhaps you should see a doctor? Ear bleeding is not normal, not in the slighest, please make an appointment for MRI and...
SP: I honestly don't know which one of you is the biggest pain in ass.11. Are you positive about your future?
Armin: Yes! I'm trying to think positively... no matter what...
Charlie: I don't know... perhaps yes... but it really depends...
SP: Depends on what?
Charlie: Like... I am worrying about the things that I'm not really responsible for... but sometimes I think I should try to be... as much as I can because it's.. really concerning... sometimes I imagine what would happen if I'd lose them...
SP: You'd lose what?
Charlie: N-no, nothing in particular.
SP: I think both of you try to hide something from me.
Elliot: I've lost my capability of worrying for the future I highly recommend the same guysss
SP: You're painfully obnoxious, but at least you're honest, well, that's what I have to admit.12. What you're most afraid of?
Armin: Hmm... Spiders?
SP: You're lying. I saw your photo on instagram holding Jeff Fridge's tarantula named Madeleine. I am better prepared than you think.
Armin: Okay okay that was a joke, I think Madeleine is adorable little princess. Clowns?
SP: Two clowns are literally sitting next to you. I think you have problem with compulsive lying. Charlie, what's Armin afraid of?
Charlie: I think he doesn't want to discuss serious topics here and you should respect that.
SP: I respect that, but it doesn't mean he has to lie. Is everything he's afraid of really that serious? Isn't he afraid of, like, mice, storm, heights, clowns?
Armin: I just said that. I just said that I'm afraid of clowns, Sasha. And you brutally assumed that's a lie.
SP: Because that's a lie.
Armin: You will never know. Anyway, you wanted to know some of our simple fears? Elliot is afraid of owls. Once an owl has attacked him during his brother's birthday and since that day he used to believe that this certain owl is following him everywhere. He used to believe that for long years...!
SP: Wait wait wait, you clearly don't want your friends sharing your darkest fears, yet you're happily sharing theirs...?
Seriously, Armin, you're such a hypocrite. I'm speechless.
Armin: B-but fearing owls doesn't seem like a darkest fe--
Elliot: It is my darkest fear, Armin, fuck you! >:013. You guys might be tired with these questions, time for break - have a candy!
Armin: Where's the candy?
SP: I haven't prepared the candy. Once again, it was not me who wrote these questions.
Armin: ( • ᴖ • ｡)
Charlie: You've made Armin sad. And you're saying you're well prepared? You're such a bitch.
SP: Ohoho. Big words for such a... crybaby like you.
Elliot: I wanted a candy too. I hope you'll lose your job.14. Your worst holidays?
Armin: Laaast Christmas I gave you my heart...
Charlie: You better care of your health or you'll really have to give your heart, not to me, but to surgeons.
Armin: I'm sorry what did you say?
Charlie: I was saying that my worst holidays were... the holidays when my grandpa was still alive and I had to spend two weeks with both of my grandparents.
SP: You don't like your grandparents? You don't respect the elderly?
Charlie: I.. I just... they were deeply religious and they... especially my grandpa, he... s-smelled...
SP: Seriously? You hated your grandparents because they loved the God and thought they emit unpleasant odor?!
Charlie: I-I didn't say that I ha...
SP: Oh yeah, you did. Threatening. If you didn't like their smell, you could've bought them soap and wash them by yourself instead of complaining about them in my interview. It's horrible how young people don't respect the elderly nowadays.
Charlie: But I--
SP: Don't try to justify yourself. That's simply contemptible. Gross. Abominable.
Elliot: My worst holidays was the summer when I had to...
SP: Shut up. I'm more interested in your blonde friend's lack of respect for old people.
Charlie: Listen, I'm sorry I've called you that word before, I...
SP: Now every person on the globe will be aware that you despise your grandparents. Your grandfather should sue you for thousand dollars for that insult and...
Elliot: His grandpa is already dead xdddd
SP: Oh. Okay. Okay let's move to next question.

15. Do you have driving license?
Armin: Nnno. I've painted it on MS Paint.
SP: Really?
Armin: Really 0 v 0
SP: Stop trying to be funny, you're annoying.
Armin: How can you tell this is not true? I rarely drive a car, perhaps exactly because of that I'm scared of getting caught for my handmade driving license.
Charlie: It's not true. Armin has driving license, but he indeed shouldn't be driving because of his, uh... I'm not supposed to talk about it. Anyway, I do have driving license and my car is named Vanessa...
SP: Stop bragging. How about you, ginger? Let me guess. Your driving license has been cancelled.
Elliot: Si, that's true! That's why I'm using the one Armin drew for me in MS Paint. You're such an amazing friend, you radiating smurf.16. Can you cook a dinner?
Armin: Uhm but why I'm supposed to cook it? I'd rather not... I'd rather just order something if Someone needs a dinner... but I can optionally try something very simple if someone...
SP: Someone? Not you? You don't eat the dinner?
Armin: No. (• ▽ •;)
Charlie: I... could try, at least. I don't do that on daily basis, but sometimes I try to cook for Ar.. like, when someone visits me and clearly needs some nourishment, but...
SP: Does Armin need some nourishment?
Charlie: Yes, very much. He's so sickly. So fragile. He needs vitamins.
SP: What do you cook for him?
Charlie: Hmm.. like... chocolate soup.... melted... chocolate... from microwave... and marshmallows...
SP: Very healthy. No wonder why Armin looks like he's going to faint. Well, anyway, and you?
Elliot: I do believe I can, it's not my problem people have troubles with eating my dinner -.-- I've once poisoned my whole family when my mother told me to cook a meal for christmas eve's dinner and since that time I've never tried to cook anything (they almost died lol I personally didn't because I immediately vomited what proves that I have highest IQ of all my family members--
SP: Okay, that's enough.17. Do you call your parents at least one time per week?
Armin: I refuse to talk about it, next question please?
SP: whispers Cowardly pussy.
Charlie: I don't, it's them who call.. But more like once a month... just to check how are their.. pots with mary jane that they gave to me... not how I am, just the mary jane I believe...
Elliot: Well my parents call me from time to time to make sure if I hadn't been caught by police yet or to say congratulations for amazing performance, I also call them sometimes to ask if they don't need some magical substances for family meeting or something, and my younger sister messages me everyday the screenshots from fangirl group chat, yes we're very supportive family indeed you can only be jealous18. When did you have your first kiss?
Armin: Hmm...in high school!
SP: You really did? I don't believe you. Charlie, does he lie?
Charlie: Why are you asking me?
SP: I thought you two maybe...
Charlie: What?
SP: No, nothing at all. How about you?
Charlie: I... I had my first kiss even before high school... but it was meaningless... that girl was... horrible... I just simply... Lost a bet...
Elliot: Yeah it was my merit! That was his first and last kiss >:)
SP: Sssseriously?
Charlie: dies from embarassment
Elliot: Kiss him Sasha, free him from that curse! I personally had my first kiss in fifth grade with every girl from the class yeah what a time
Charlie: And those kisses were at least a bit meaningful to you...?
Elliot: Not everything has to be meaningful, you damn chewed gummi bear, chill, just wait for your princess on white horse, or like, prince
Charlie: What?
Elliot: A royal person on pale equine whatever19. Do you want to have children?
Armin: I really don't think about such things.. I have no idea... perhaps in the far future??? I don't know, very hard to imagine...
SP: Yes, especially when you still look like a child yourself.
Armin: And you look like you could be my grandma.
Charlie: I don't think about it either... not now, that's for sure.. but someday... who knows... maybe.. but with WHO???
Elliot: lol no never btw guys claudia's pregnant20. Do you brush your teeth every day?
Armin: Of course. Several Times per day. I really really like toothpaste. These questions get progressively worse with time, am I right?
SP: Yes.
Armin: Will there also be a question about virginity?
SP: This is the last question, but do you want to answer that?
Armin: Nnnnno. (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄
Charlie: Sometimes it's not possible... when you're travelling... busy with your job... constantely in move... you may forget... but I do my best and...
SP: But Armin told that he brushes his teeth several times per day, while he's definitely more active than you. So you're admitting to not brushing your teeth every day?
Charlie: N-no. Of course I brush...
SP: I think you're lying.
Elliot: Yo Charlie don't seek for excuses. Even such a grounded junkie like me does not forget about t000thbrushing. I once forgot to take a toothbrush when we went to SaintSalmonFestival but I brushed my teeth with toilet bru--
SP: Thanks god it was the last question.

Zefir's life as Human

Zefir fantasizes about how his life would look like if he was just a standard human being.

🌸 Dear diary :) 🌸You know, me is not the most creative creature ever, I have quite... narrowed horizons :) But once my Host asked me:"Zifer, you fucking tapeworm from hell :) What if you actually had a possibility to live? Live in this reality as a standard human being, having a body, not bearing the power capable of causing apocalypses, not having this whole cosmic shit in yourself, not connected to me whatsoever. What would you do, Zifuer, you damn overpowered motherfucker?"And I started to think a lot about it! I think it is a fascinating conception, I mean, just an idea to think about! Because we all know there is no hope for me and I need to die :) Oh, I need to die so badly :)So, here are some of my ideas! Just concepts, not even wishes or dreams :) I don't think I should be able to dream about such stuff - feels kinda sinful to be honest :)🦷 I have two ideas for my roles in society! First, the more ambitious one :) Becoming the...... DENTIST!
Firstly, my Host would have to sign me to elementary school, then I'd start high school (I would be the most popular student there, I swear, I would be the prom night queen!) :) And then I'd start to study dentistry! Because you know, me loves le teeth <3 This idea pressumes I do have time, I do not have to die (and of course my Host lives with me, all safe from Me <3) So, I think I'd be able to become a dentist in around 20 years! This sounds Amazing <3 Imagine this! My Host would be 40 then <3 IMAGINE HOW HORRIBLE HIS TEETH WOULD BE AT THIS TIME if he won't stop eating that much sugar and puking!!! They're not perfect even now, and in 20 years they will be A CATASTROPHE :) TRAGEDY :) APOCALYPSE :) I WOULD TREAT HIS TEETH E V E R Y D A Y ! I WOULD BE HIS P R I V A T E D E N T I S T!!!
yes, 20 years of studying hard just to stare at armin's teeth🧹 However, I am aware that studying is a hard and long process, and I've been told multiple times that I am not the sharpest tool in the shed (yeah me knows what it means, me watched Shrek, boring tbh) :) So! If I had problems with studying (it ends with dying for a reason!) - I would just become my Host's private servant :) Maido :) Butler :) Slave, even, if he'd like to, but I doubt, he's too pure for having a slave, but I wouldn't mind being treated as one and even being beaten every day :) Tortured :) Humiliated :) Fed to the pigs :) But yeah I'd totally become his home service, I already do chores for him, as a mere attempt to atone for my sins against him and Universe :) I think he wouldn't mind, he doesn't like to do daily chores himself much, while I'd have fun :) He could even wash the floor with my hair if he wanted :)🌸 Now when I think about this... I would have to stop calling my Host my Host! :( Damn, I've got used to it... but he would be no longer my Host... and I WOULD BE NO LONGER A PARASITE! Very unusual thought... Feels weird to think that he would be just... an Armin for me... and we could be just... colleagues...? You know, he actually hates that I always refer to him as my Host :) But I feel too sinful to call him just Armin! And hey, what would be my surname...? Can I have his...? Would I have my own ID card...? Would I be Zefir or Eofiriyon...? So many things to think about...🏠 Yeah, I wonder how our relation would look like in such case... Would he eventually just forgive me everything and treat me as a... friend of some kind? Would he at least... be nice to me sometimes? Would I still was allowed to live with him? I... I can't imagine it other way... what if he told me... Zifer, you damn motherfucker, get the fuck out of my home?! ZIFER, MOVE OUT, RENT A FLAT, GET A MORTGAGE LOAN?!!! I would... I WOULD BE DESPAIRED! I think I would jump from the bridge... I do not want... live without you... but maybe that's how it should be...? Do you think I'd be able to... somehow... break that mental bond... No I don't want to, never, never, never!💋 If I had a body and was actual human, would it also mean I... I would have... romantic... even sexual... feelings in me? THAT'S SO GROSS! OH MY GOD! ME DOES NOT WANT THIS!!! WHAT IF MY HOST TOLD ME "ZIFER, YOU FUCKING TAPEWORM FROM HELL, GO FIND A WIFE OR HUSBAND"?! DEAR LORD WHAT IF I HAD G E N I T A L S ?!?!?!?! W H I C H ONES?!??! N O O O O
Uhm, me doesn't like all the aspects of that...🍕 My diet would contain only :) my Host's leftovers :) nothing more :) No, I wouldn't be excited to trying new food and stuff :) I worship his leftovers :)🚽 I would spend LONG HOURS in bathroom! Oh my, I think I'd love to have my own private bathroom <3 I would take at least 3 bathes per day, had at least 10 different rubber ducks, at least 50 shower gels to pick from (like my Host! Do you really think my personality happened out of nowhere? Actually I took a lot after him!) and of course, A WHOLE ROOM OF TOILET PAPER <333 I would build a whole TOWER of TOILET PAPER!💃 I think I'd sign up for ballet, too :) Me loves dancing with toilet paper :) I love Swan Lake Techno Remix :)👗 I would wear my Host's clothes only :) If he let me :) Maybe ocassionally dress as well, I'm sure Sharon could borrow me one :)📷 I would set up INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT! I think I'd be absolute superstar there <3 And of course, if my voice was finally record-able, I WOULD TOTALLY SET UP A YOUTUBE ACCOUNT AS WELL! Oh my, AND I WOULD RECORD A SONG! About my Incomprehensible, Otherworldly, Universal Love of course <3🥚 I would actually learn myself how to cook because jesuschrist my Host is gonna die, if not because of me, then because of his diet :) I would be regularly going with him to hospital as well :) Speaking of what - I would have roentgen scan, dentist checkup and ultrasound scan done EVERY DAY! But really :) I would care of him as much as I could, no matter how our relationship would become!☮ Does this concept also assumes I had more emotions in myself, even a real empathy? It really would... make me an opportunity to befriend other people... right? Meh :) I don't want to! I don't want any other people than you in my actual life! Ugh, I don't even want to sympathize with them! Now I'm realizing that I... I don't want to become capable of that... all of my attempts to make... Friends on Facebook are so painfully fake... Meh :) I do not :) Care ¯_(ツ)_/¯ But what if it was exactly he would wished for...? Get rid of... me... not see me ever again... send me to Africa or something... I would... have to respect this... for his happiness... or I'd rather... kill... myself...🧠 Ah yes, maybe I would go to psychiatrist, no matter if I still had suicidal tendencies in myself or not :) Maybe :) I'd rather make an appointment for a lobotomy, tho :) I suspect I'd still :) wish to :) die!

My possible diet as a h00man :)

Monday1. No breakfast leftovers, my Host doesn't bother to eat :(
2. Lunch: my Host's sponge :)
3. Dinner: a bit of dog food :) I'm begging my Host to buy me some liver :( doesn't have to be h00man's can be chicken's!! but he doesn't agree :(Tuesday1. Still no breakfast leftovers :( A bit of toothpaste 👍
2. Lunch: Fish food :) the flakes for Betta Fish Matthew :) Matthew will share with me :) (not Matthew himself, I'm not allowed to and I do respect that)
3. Dinner: one old Pizza Crust from my collection, with a lot of mold <3Wednesday1. Breakfast: five soakened cereals <333
2. Lunch: omg I found some EGG SHELLS <3
3. Dinner: raw egg with Luxemburg's fur :)Thursday1. Breakfast: mold cut off from the marshmallows (I'm not eating the marshmallows - just the mold)
2. Lunch: half of Banana Peel with Shower Gel so healthy and tasty!
3. Dinner: my Host finally agreed to buy me some liver <3 <3 raw liver <3 💃🎈Friday (Rebecca Black)1. Breakfast: my Host's unfinished coffee and dishwasher cube 👍
2. Lunch: 4 Chewed Bubblegums also left by my Host <3
3. Dinner: I'll wait for more fresh leftovers! No leftovers? I think he's supposedly starving himself to not trigger me. >:(Saturday
1. Breakfast: 2 pieces of toilet paper with Domestos! Healthy sandwich <3
2. Lunch: Armin's 3 Hair <3
3. Dinner: the rest of raw liver from thursday, kinda rotten already <3Sunday1. Breakfast: soap <3
2. Lunch: anything my Host is going to leave for me! he's not gonna to eat again? oops, I think he... fainted
3. Dinner: a single bite of
armin